London

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Kissed her lips in the bitter cold
Her hands in his pockets to rid the bite of frost
There was no rush to get home

So they continued to walk

Heals clicked on the cobble stone
As music notes around them dance

“Você é linda”

The bells tolled
But in the moment they were lost
One that could never mock

Feet lifted and flown
Floating on air at first glance

“Tu és o meu amor”

A love that was bold
Two paths graciously crossed

She left her heart in London
She left

her

heart

“Eu vou sempre me lembrar de você”

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Wicked

leaves
The windows were open bringing in the movement of the night
This chill in the air sends shivers up the spines of the wicked
And calms those who are kind
Let the wind blow and welcome autumn.
Let the wind make it right

“Hey Mr Brown Eyes don’t let your whole life pass you by”
She whispered in his ear before the summer had departed
“I won’t as long as you’re by my side”
He responded so lighthearted

Summer came and gone
Like the peaking waves at dawn
Just like the season he’s vanished and turned shy
Not knowing its ok to no longer be her guy

For its autumn that blows in all the fury
Makes the air crisp and freezes the worry
There’s no need for the summer light
When all that brings fright is slumbering well into the autumn night

Let that cool air bite every time she’s reminded of those eyes
Because like playing with fire there is no compromise
Remember the grasps of air while she pulled on his hair
Love is a game that is not fair

Let the wicked be wicked
And the kind be kind
For it’s the changing of the seasons
No reasons
No rye

Why He Cheated: An Interview with an Ex

cheatThe whitful bold lies would slip out of his mouth like an actor that’s mastered the art of memorization. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone in the world, cheating is a knife in the heart. After being in a relationship for four years I couldn’t help but wonder, “Have I ever been cheated on?” There was this constant curiosity of why he hasn’t come home and who it is that keeps on calling. “It’s my boss.” “I’m having drinks with my dad.” And my ultimate favorite, “She’s just my lab partner” (from the school he was lying about attending). I was always someone to give the benefit of the doubt, maybe it’s the political scientist in me that truly believed in “innocent until proven guilty” or in this case “innocent until he left his email up and I saw the messages exchanged between him and girls on his secrete e-harmony account.” I’m no longer bitter, but after three years of being broken up I can’t help but still wonder why he did it. And the answer ladies and gents, he’s scum. Even knowing that, I called him up to find out. It wasn’t a heated conversation. There was no name calling or tears falling because after all of this I know I’m a better person than when I was with him. I just simply asked him, “why?”

His responses did not come as a shock to me, in fact they provided me with reassurance. “I can’t be with one girl for that long. I get bored.” –he told me. I then asked him how many girls he has cheated on, “I’ve cheated on almost every girl I’ve been with.” The responses were very honest and blunt. It’s not that he is proud of it, but he does continue to say that it’s in his nature. Things began to get even more personal. He was telling me about each individual relationship and where it went wrong, “At first it went well and then I fucked her over. I ended up going out more and sleeping with other people and thought, ‘shit I miss the single life.’” This was the most recent. He told me how he treated her like a queen at first, was totally in love. Then, things became mundane so he decided to make it interesting by treating his once-upon-a-time-princess like motel art, something that he saw only occasionally. This reminded me much like our own relationship, pin pointing exact moments where I began to notice his lack of interest.

Spite was another reason he began to cheat. With another girl, “… there was a part in our relationship where I did think she was cheating on me… out of revenge I started cheating on her, maybe ten times.” I ended our conversation with his beliefs, asking him if he believed in relationship Karma, “I do, what goes around comes around.” He paused after, as if he knew karma was watching him over his back, lingering for the perfect moment to cause him the pain he has caused others.

I no longer wonder why I was cheated on. Deep down I had a feeling that it wasn’t about me but his own insecurities. My advice to others: follow your instincts, recognize all the red flags, and understand that most the time it isn’t about you. Life after Branden isn’t tragic. It’s moved on. If anything I am more aware of what I want and what to expect. But, I can’t help but wonder what will ever happen to him. Will the perfect romance slip him out of the habit or is the player destined to be played as the shadow of Karma lingers behind him waiting for the perfect moment to cash out.